Penelope Boston lands exclusive interview with Catnip party candidate, @bitchesthecat for this special election edition of ‘Penelope’s Peeps!’
PenelopeB: Bitches, you have been in the Presidential race over a year now. What made you decide to run for President instead of just eating and sleeping all day like the rest of us cats?
Bitches the Cat: I was concerned about this country. I couldn’t watch as cardboard box safety continued to decline and catnip prices continued to rise. And then there is the Donald Trump factor. He wants to close the doors to this country. I don’t like closed doors.
PenelopeB: Is it true that Donald Trump blocked you? What the Fluff is up with that?
Bitches the Cat: Donald Trump did block me. I was mean to him on Twitter. But as Hillary Clinton said, “A man who can be provoked by a tweet should not have his hands anywhere near the nuclear codes.”
PenelopeB: What is your Campaign slogan? Where can we read about your positions?
Bitches the Cat: America Meow! Catnip party platform analysis can be found here: http://www.bitchesthecat.com/bitches-2016/
PenelopeB: Will you legalize catnip?
Bitches the Cat: The catnip legalization movement is already gaining a lot of momentum in more progressive states. I will fight for the right of every cat to nip up. I also see human price gouging of catnip as a major problem. We need to eliminate the middlemen and take control of the entire catnip industry from production through sale. Only then will we rise up and take back what is ours.
PenelopeB: How has the addition of LB (Lil Bitches) and Kiddo changed your campaign?
Bitches the Cat: Kiddo and LB showing up nearly a year ago has had a devastating impact on my campaign. I’m forced to spend precious time protecting my catnip supply and my many forts.
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy campaign schedule to speak with us today! Penelope’s Peeps and Pet Personalities proudly endorses Bitches the Cat for President 2016! #AmericaMeow!